I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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