I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
