We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
