I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
