Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Is it penis luge time yet?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize