She's JV to your varsity
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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