Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
