the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
