I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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