We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
