everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
