strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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