Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
