I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
