I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
