when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
