haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
