The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
