I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
