You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
