Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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