just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
