What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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