I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
