WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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