I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
