just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
