I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just want to make out with him forever
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
