please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
