Me too!
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
