69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
