quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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