Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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