Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
