Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
