Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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