we made out on top of his cat.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize