its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
