our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
