I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
