question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
