Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
