so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize