He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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