are you still at the devil's house?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize