we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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