Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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