That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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