it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
