I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
