and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
then he tried to convert me to islam
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
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