I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
