She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
