I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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