Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
