I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
