I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
