omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
