so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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