just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
