I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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